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Anonymous and unedited fail stories. Submit yours at the bottom of the page.
i had a girlfriend and we were at a friends house she sat on my lap and farted. now i wouldn't have been pissed but she did it eight more times (seriously juicy) without getting up to let them out somewhere EFPosted on 25th Jul 2009 05:08
My girlfriend has been going on and on for months about how super impressed she is with her super smart, handsome, rich, ivy league educated married boss. Whatever. It did not matter until she told me they fucked in Las Vegas last month during a business trip. Her digital camera also had 30 or so shots of them naked in the hotel room in various sex acts appearing very drunk and happy. I found the disc last week and she admitted what happened. I told her the relationship is over and kicked her ass out. I own the house which we have lived in for a bit over a year. I told her to pick up her shit today. Over the weekend I fowarded the pics to her boss, his wife(after I told her what happened over the phone), and her boss's boss. Well...Everyone who got the pics ain't too happy. My now ex girlfriend's boss called me on Sunday and told me I ruined his marriage, job, and life and he said he was going to sue me after he beat the shit out of me and gouged out my eyes. Then he started to cry over the phone. I laughed and told him he can come over my house any time he likes. I had a cop friend of mine call him back and scare the shit out of him regarding the threating phone calls. He left 3 threatening messages on my machine before I picked up. My ex took the day off from work today to pick up her shit. Well...she loves clothes and shoes. Lots of good names too like Chanel, Guccci, Versace, etc.. All her good stuff I took to an uppper class consignment store so I can make a little cash and every other piece of her clothing from underwear to gym clothes were burned in a beautiful bonfire fueled with gasoline last night. I gave her back all her other stuff but not ONE stich of clothing. For numbers....60 or so pairs of shoes and the designer duds....40 or so dresses/suits. When she asked for her clothes this morning I pointed to the remains of my bonfire. I thought she had a heart attack. I told her. To get the fuck off my property and never speak to me again. I also told her if she or her boss decide to seek revenge on me her digital pics from Vegas as well as the 10 or so homemade porn films we personally made together could accidentally end up at her parents house or get splahed all over the internet. She left numb. I feel much better now than I did last Friday. My friends by the way always told me they thought she was a condesending bitch. They were right. I guess I just was use to the great sex. Now time to move on. I already have a date for Fri. with a hottie from my gym. She looks like Daisy Fuentes but with bigger tits. I will still watch my back for a while but if they try anything. I will be ready. Thanks for letting me rant. It has been a shitty 5 days.
EF
Posted on 25th Jul 2009 05:04
I fell asleep in the sun, my 'friends' thought it would be funny to draw a cock on me with sun cream, now I have a penis outline. EF
Posted on 22nd Jul 2009 21:46
I met this girl last week, and we had a couple of dates. and after one date she took me to her home. we were fooling around a bit, and i stuck my hand in her panty's and i felt a pair of balls. The worst part is, I didn't stop after that. And I thought I was straight. EF
Posted on 20th Jul 2009 14:23
I just watched William Shatner sing "Rocket Man". EFPosted on 19th Jul 2009 18:55
My ex-girlfriend sent me pictures of her having sex with her new boyfriend... I sent them to her dad EFPosted on 19th Jul 2009 02:32
i know how 2 lick my own balls...EF
Posted on 17th Jul 2009 16:52
Do YOU Like EPIC FAIL? Prove it.
i had a girlfriend and we were at a friends house she sat on my lap and farted. now i wouldn't have been pissed but she did it eight more times (seriously juicy) without getting up to let them out somewhere EFPosted on 25th Jul 2009 05:08
My girlfriend has been going on and on for months about how super impressed she is with her super smart, handsome, rich, ivy league educated married boss. Whatever. It did not matter until she told me they fucked in Las Vegas last month during a business trip. Her digital camera also had 30 or so shots of them naked in the hotel room in various sex acts appearing very drunk and happy. I found the disc last week and she admitted what happened. I told her the relationship is over and kicked her ass out. I own the house which we have lived in for a bit over a year. I told her to pick up her shit today. Over the weekend I fowarded the pics to her boss, his wife(after I told her what happened over the phone), and her boss's boss. Well...Everyone who got the pics ain't too happy. My now ex girlfriend's boss called me on Sunday and told me I ruined his marriage, job, and life and he said he was going to sue me after he beat the shit out of me and gouged out my eyes. Then he started to cry over the phone. I laughed and told him he can come over my house any time he likes. I had a cop friend of mine call him back and scare the shit out of him regarding the threating phone calls. He left 3 threatening messages on my machine before I picked up. My ex took the day off from work today to pick up her shit. Well...she loves clothes and shoes. Lots of good names too like Chanel, Guccci, Versace, etc.. All her good stuff I took to an uppper class consignment store so I can make a little cash and every other piece of her clothing from underwear to gym clothes were burned in a beautiful bonfire fueled with gasoline last night. I gave her back all her other stuff but not ONE stich of clothing. For numbers....60 or so pairs of shoes and the designer duds....40 or so dresses/suits. When she asked for her clothes this morning I pointed to the remains of my bonfire. I thought she had a heart attack. I told her. To get the fuck off my property and never speak to me again. I also told her if she or her boss decide to seek revenge on me her digital pics from Vegas as well as the 10 or so homemade porn films we personally made together could accidentally end up at her parents house or get splahed all over the internet. She left numb. I feel much better now than I did last Friday. My friends by the way always told me they thought she was a condesending bitch. They were right. I guess I just was use to the great sex. Now time to move on. I already have a date for Fri. with a hottie from my gym. She looks like Daisy Fuentes but with bigger tits. I will still watch my back for a while but if they try anything. I will be ready. Thanks for letting me rant. It has been a shitty 5 days. EF
Posted on 25th Jul 2009 05:04
I fell asleep in the sun, my 'friends' thought it would be funny to draw a cock on me with sun cream, now I have a penis outline. EF
Posted on 22nd Jul 2009 21:46
I met this girl last week, and we had a couple of dates. and after one date she took me to her home. we were fooling around a bit, and i stuck my hand in her panty's and i felt a pair of balls. The worst part is, I didn't stop after that. And I thought I was straight. EF
Posted on 20th Jul 2009 14:23
I just watched William Shatner sing "Rocket Man". EFPosted on 19th Jul 2009 18:55
My ex-girlfriend sent me pictures of her having sex with her new boyfriend... I sent them to her dad EFPosted on 19th Jul 2009 02:32
i know how 2 lick my own balls...EF
Posted on 17th Jul 2009 16:52
Do YOU Like EPIC FAIL? Prove it.
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